Attraction follows love

I have come to understand a truth that eludes many people. It is a radical concept. Many aren’t ready for it. It will shock the world. Brace yourself. Here it is:

Attraction follows love.

A lot of folks have this backwards. They believe that physical attraction is necessary up front before you can entertain the possibility of love with someone. Wrong! Here’s how it can work. You meet someone. You allow yourself to know that person, and for them to know you. And then, maybe over time, you fall for that person. If that happens, they will become desirable to you. Your new appreciation of the person they are inside causes you to notice new features about the person they are outside. The beauty they had all along will be revealed, when you’re ready to see it.

I believe that everyone is beautiful.

1. “This is naive/sentimental/idealist bullshit.”

It’s true that I am talking about an ideal of love, but it’s not idealist. It’s attainable. You don’t have to be a fan of Meg Ryan movies to acknowledge the universality of what I’m saying here.

2. “People have a right to their preferences. I have a type and there’s nothing wrong with that.”

Fine, but your “type” is holding you back. You’re limiting your opportunities for a true and enduring connection. Why not increase your odds?

3. “It’s impossible to fall in love with someone you aren’t [initially] physically attracted to anyway.”

People fall in love sight unseen all the time on the internet these days. Real love with real symptoms: butterflies in the stomach, heart palpitations, consuming thoughts, agonizing worry, professions of commitment, the works.

4. “Men are visual creatures, you wouldn’t understand, the peni wants what the peni wants, bla bla bla…”

Don’t make this about men or women. There are actually men who agree that attraction follows love. Men are just as capable of transformative love as women are. And the result is the same.

5. “You talk a big game, but you wouldn’t ‘entertain the possibility of love’ if the person you met was the elephant man.”

Yes, I would. It works if you work it, people!

6. “Sounds like you have a holier than thou attitude problem.”

Partially true; I believe any philosophy that makes you more accepting of other people will uplift you as a human being. But I consider that to be secondary to the point. The real benefit of my way is that I am more likely to discover happiness. When the world is your dating pool and your heart is open, you are more likely to meet someone incredible. If that doesn’t make sense to you, then I guess you should continue following the peni.

In Conclusion:

Attraction follows love is a high ideal. You may not be ready for it, but I fully believe that all come to my way of thinking in the end, as age ripens wisdom.

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