time comes undone

In general, you can expect to hear a solid block of Christmas music on the radio today. Even NPR bows in to this tide of obligatory holiday programming. And yet, I noticed while driving around deserted Austin roads this morning that there is one holdout on the FM dial. The greatest radio station ever: Jammin’ 105.9.

While other stations take a more traditional approach to Christmas day, Jammin’ 105.9 continues to give us a steady stream of Paula Abdul, New Kids on the Block, and pre-jiggy era rap straight through the anniversary of the birth of our Lord. Cause nothing says yuletide to me like C+C Music Factory, Real McCoy, Positive K, and other one hit dance wonders of the 80’s and 90’s. I love the Jam! It’s like a party in my car®!

Please don’t mistake this post for irony. My love for 105.9 is pure, as Crystal Waters would say.

Sample a taste of radio gold by viewing the following advertisement:

The running man dance pictured above really just says everything you need to know about this fine radio station.

Join the craze.

michael says:
People who use the word ’shoot’ in reference to sending emails are assholes. Shoot you an email? How about I just shoot you, you asshole.

That’s the latest post to my new favorite RSS feed: everyoneisanasshole.com. A more perfect funny has never been hatched.

To put my own personal stamp on this post, here are the asshole descriptions that currently or used to describe me:

1. people who use and send glittery graphics

2. technical people who humiliate non-technical people

3. retail hipster douchebags with pretty good taste in music

4. people in shared living situations who sing at the top of their lungs at 3am

5. people who email coworkers to nitpick their mistakes and CC their boss

6. little kids who tell other little kids santa isn’t real

7. students who finish the work faster than you can and leave early to prove it

I guess what I’m trying to say is that I am a septuple asshole. My assholetry is unimpeachable. If there were an asshole of the year award, and it hadn’t already been given to Alberto Gonzales, I’d be a shoo-in.

I’ve decided to start an inspirational list of my favorite assholes from TV and film. I’m sure I will think of many more the second after I click post.

Garfield
Q on Star Trek
Dr. Cox on Scrubs
Jay Lovitz on The Critic
Stephen Colbert on Strangers With Candy
Larry David on Curb Your Enthusiasm
Tommy Lee Jones in Cobb
Alec Baldwin in Glengarry Glen Ross
Christopher Walken in Batman Returns
Bette Midler in Big Business
Meryl Streep in The Devil Wears Prada
Equal parts Christina Ricci and Joan Cusak in Addams Family Values

I’m a sucker for a skillful cut-down. Keep firing, assholes!